Brevísima crónica de mi vuelta a casa tras la cena de Halloween y posterior queimada

•Lunes, 2 Noviembre, 2009 • Dejar un comentario

¿No es un poco extraño poder ir en camiseta a las 2:30 AM de un día de Noviembre por Madrid sin pasar frío?

Representación gráfica aproximada de lo acaecido:

 

Los edificios tenían ventanas, y la acera no era de color blanco, pero me cansé de dibujar. Y ahora que lo pienso, ni John Cleese suele andar siempe como su personaje (supongo, nunca le he tenido cerca para comprobarlo), ni vivo en un universo paralelo habitado por personajes de palo. Y además, teniendo en cuenta mi posición con respecto a la luna, el dibujo debería estar invertido horizontalmente. Joder, no he dado una.

Naturaleza misteriosa

•Domingo, 25 Octubre, 2009 • 2 comentarios

Hoy voy a hablar de un curioso animalito que hará las delicias de grandes y pequeños: ¡la Cymothoa Exigua!

Este adorable bichillo vive en el fondo del mar. Cuando es pequeño se introduce en la boca de los peces, se clava con sus garras a la lengua y va absorbiendo la sangre de la arteria hasta que la lengua se atrofia y cae.

Maravilloso, ¿no creen?

Es entonces cuando la Cymothoa se agarra de algún modo a los músculos que queden por ahí y reemplaza con todo su cuerpo a la lengua del pez, alimentándose de los restos de comida que floten cerca.

 

 

 

 

¿Han vuelto ya de vomitar del lavabo?

Pues vean este corto en el que se especula con lo que podría acontecer si este bicharraco atacara a humanos (bueno, a peces humanizados, o humanos con forma de pez, o algo así raruco).

 

Advertencia: esta entrada contenía material desagradable que no debería haber sido contemplado por personas sensibles. Mmh, quizá debería haber avisado antes… Bah, seguramente no.

DiegodeLeón

•Domingo, 11 Octubre, 2009 • 5 comentarios

El lunes pasado, en el metro, un tipo de unos 40 años, medio calvo y gafas de culo de damajuana se me sentó al lado y musitó, con voz de patito de goma estrangulado:
-¿LasiguientesDiegodeLeón?
-Sí.
-¿Lasiguiente?
-Sí.
-¿Lasiguiente?
-Sí.
-¿Lasiguiente?
-¡SÍ!
-Valevale.

Extraje de mi bolsa el libro que estoy leyendo, que aprovecho para recomendar.

-¿Quéseso?
-Un libro.
-¿Unlibro?
-Sí.
-¿Quélibroes?

Le enseñé la portada.

-¡Peroestostáninglés!
-Sí.
-¡Peroustednoesinglés,¿no?
-No.
-Noesinglés,¿no?
-No.
-Noesinglés,¿no?
-No.
-Noesinglés,¿no?
-Sí.
-Noesinglés,¿no?
-¡NO!
-Valevale. ¿Yloentiendebien?
-SÍÍÍ.
-¿Quéquieredecir”kid”?
-”Niño”.
-¿Quéquieredecir”kid”?
-¡”Niño”!.
-¿Yestábienelibro?
-Sí.
-¿Estábienelibro?
-Sí.
-¿Ydiceque”kid”quieredecir”niño”?
-¡MIRE, YA HEMOS LLEGADO A DIEGO DE LEÓN!
-Valevalegraciasgracias.

Y así desapareció de mi vida para siempre. Espero.

Another meme

•Jueves, 24 Septiembre, 2009 • Dejar un comentario

I’ve received this a few hours ago. I’m gonna try to answer it in English. It’ll probably be full of stupid mistakes but I don’t care anymore.
1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
A glass of milk, though I’m chewing a pencil right now. It makes me look interesting/nerdy.
 
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2. Where was your profile picture taken?

The closest thing I have to a profile picture is this, and it was made in Simpsonsmovie.com back in 2007. You can recognise Jamshed’s hair on it (Jamshed is Apu’s Nephew). By the way, I wish I was as slim as in the picture.

 

3. Can you play Guitar Hero?

I don’t know, but probably not. My coordination skills blow.

 

 

4. Name someone who made you laugh today.

I had no reason to laugh today, it’s been a pretty M-E-H day. I laughed out loud yesterday, however, while watching Scrubs, so lets say the writer’s work and John McGinley’s acting made me laugh.

5. How late did you stay up last night and why?

4:00 AM, and that’s because I was training an Absol. Yes, I’m nearly 23 and I still play with those things. Sue me.

6. If you could move somewhere else, would you?

Maybe, but probably not. My life is here.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?

No, but it sounds cool.

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?

My friend Nu Ne lives near Ventas, that’s five minutes from here.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends?

Seems difficult but I have seen that it’s possible.

10. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper?

Indiferent, though Ignatius Reilly liked it, so therefore it must have… something.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?

The last time I cried hard was somewhere around November of 2000, due to my bad grades in school and my mother’s (logic) reaction to them. The last time I cried was August 17th of 2006, while huging my mother. Self-acceptance is hard to achieve.

12. Who took your profile picture?

I did.

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?

Some of my friends (Gorpik, Nu Ne, Antuán, Nilrem…) in Toledo, last weekend.

14. Was yesterday better than today?

Both where boring days.

15. Can you live a day without TV?

Sure, I don’t usually watch it anyway. Most of the things I watch (The Simpsons, Scrubs, South Park, etc…) can be found on the Internet without even downloading them.

16. Are you upset about anything?

Lots of things. Many of my friends have gone away in less than two years, I’m overweight and trapped in the middle of a pointless degree, and Tuituza has closed!

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?

Yes.

18. Are you a bad influence?

I don’t think I’m a bad person. However, I’m lazy, messy and sometimes I can be quite annoying, so…

19. Night out or night in?

It depends on the company.

20. What items could you not go without during the day?

I’m not sure if I want to know it.

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?

My grandma, back in 2007, when she had a heart attack. I had flu and had to wear a mask so I didn’t infect her. When she saw me, she though I was wearing the mask because she was sicker than she expected.

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?

A friend of mine wanted to talk to me about the aforementioned weekend in Toledo.

23. How do you feel about your life right now?

It’s a little bit like running in circles, with no vissible objective. It’s like my life five years ago, but I have friends now to support me. Thanks, people.

24. Do you hate anyone?

No, but this year I’ve met some people I wouldn’t mind hitting in the balls with a fire poker. I actually did it to two of them, though only metaphorically.

25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?

I’ll probably sue you. Anyway, you would find three inocuous messages.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?

Yes.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?

I don’t think so, and If somebody did, that person didn’t knew me at all/was high/idiot/some or all them are correct.

28. What song is stuck in your head?

Right now, Lost And Lonely, by the Rasmus, but tomorrow could be anything. I’m discovering a lot of weird-but-good stuff thanks to Spotify and the AMV’s people post in Youtube.

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2AM, who do you want it to be?

Why would I want anybody to knock on my window at 2AM?

30. Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?

Too soon. Hell, I’m even too young (and irresponsible) to have my own kids. Or pets. With one possible exception.

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow

I should go to the UCM and see how the hell I am gonna fit everything in the schedule this year.

32. Do you think too much or too little?

Both.

33. Do you smile a lot?

It depends on my mood. Sometimes I smile for no particular reason and I look crazi(er).

34. How many hours a day do you spend on the computer?

Lots, specially in summer.

35. If you could be anyone else for a day, who would you be?

An eagle. Well, that actually is an answer to “WHAT would you be”, so… the invisible man. There is some stuff I want to try. MWAHAHA!!!

36. Facebook or Twitter?

I think Twitter is stupid, except for things like @edance. Facebook is OK but full of lame stuff anyway, and can be quite consuming if you end sucked up by it. I’ll go with Facebook here, since at least is slightly less retarded.

37. Chicken or Beef?

I like both… maybe chicken but I don’t really care.

38. Mac or PC?

PC

39. Have you ever punched anyone in the face?

Once, nearly fifteen years ago.

40. Have you ever been punched in the face?

No, but somebody tried it.

Cinco cortos cinco

•Domingo, 13 Septiembre, 2009 • Dejar un comentario

“La vida de los Cangrejos”

Pulsa aquí para verlo.

 

Este no sé como se llama, pero está chulo.

 

“15 Días”. Un corto (de media hora) en forma de Mockumentary sobre
un curioso personaje:

 

“El Amor no es un juego de niños”

 

Coming to Town“: unas navidades un poco distintas.